In July 2019, I returned to Ireland. While being there, I kept on writing my own songs about Mother Nature, which, under normal circumstances, would be released in October. Then, a small tour would follow. In the meantime, I was also getting involved with Orchidea's Tales, where Jesikka and I were discussing some events, that we were about to organise. However, something was wrong with me. I don't know whether it was for the fact that I was rapidly growing up or that I needed to deal with serious problems, but I soon realised that I couldn't write fantasy stories anymore. For some reason, the fantasy genre wouldn't inspire me anymore, and most of all, it wasn't persuasive for me at all. But, of course, I can't mention every fantasy author in the same breath. Tolkien, Andersen and Ursula le Guin are so amazing authors, that you can't get enough of reading their books. However, they had their own special ways to tell a story, that you felt that you were also living in their own world. Of course, the fact that I couldn't write such stories anymore made me really nervous, because Jesikka was writing science fiction stories mostly, that's why I was afraid that our fellowship would part ways completely with the fantasy genre.
Far from that, I couldn't write anything at all. Mother Nature was completed and in a few days, we would go to Abbey Road Studios in London. This means that the only thing I was writing was my own diary. Especially, after I had fought with Lydia, I didn't have any lust to create anything. I had been sitting before my PlayStation and I was playing video games all day long, otherwise, I was using Musescore, working on the orchestral pieces/symphonies, that I was commissioned.
At some point, though, I thought that I couldn't keep on living in such chaos. I had to change my lifestyle. And this is what I did. I decided to stay at home as long as necessary and make changes everywhere. I moved the furniture, painted the walls all by myself, changed the position of every stuff, the sofas, the armchairs and the beds and I threw away every useless object. My house wasn't dirty, nor untidy. However, I wanted it to seem cosier to my eyes. I had no mirrors and I didn't intend to have them because I didn't want to look at my disgusting face. Everybody was saying, though, that the older I was getting, the more beautiful I used to be. Truth be told, I couldn't afford to completely neglect myself. Far from the fact that I was a musician, I was playing at the theatre too, thus, as an actress, I had to be neat. On the other hand, I couldn't see anything beautiful about myself and I had always considered myself to be really ugly. During that time, I had red hair, reaching above my chest. It used to be longer previously, but I once dyed it red with black and blonde ombre, like highlights, so at some point, this thing had to be cut, because I looked like Germany's flag! Anyway, the renovation lasted more than a week and during that time I would hardly go out and if I did, I was only going to the kiosk to buy cigarettes. One afternoon, though, I heard a voice: "Ingrid!". I walked out in the yard and saw Jesikka and Sofia before me. "Where have you been all that time?", they said. (Notation: Sofia used to live in Kirkenes, as she was from that place too, however she also moved to Ireland, because, as an actress, she used to play with me at the theatre and she was also working as a camerawoman). I let the girls in and when they saw all these boxes and everything being topsy-turvy, Jesikka went like: "What on earth is going on here? Are you moving to a new house?". "No", I replied. "I decided to renovate my house. I only need to put some colour in my life".
I was putting my stuff in the right place, while the girls were only watching me. They had asked me, whether I needed any help, but I denied it. While I was tidying up, after some point, I only said: "What I feel jealous about is the fact that the Irish people live a relaxed life and nothing has to be regulated. Their life is completely carefree and they're having a good time. We, Norwegians, can't do that".
"You're right", Sofia said. "Our own life is an endless routine".
"I wouldn't call this a routine, Sofia", I said. "We're only too disciplined. We pay attention in every action we do and if we make the slightest mistake....everything goes to hell".
I was truly feeling that this was the case. I was living in a country, where people weren't taking the consequences of their actions that seriously, that's why they used to live only for today. We used to live in a completely opposite way. We were making plans, predicting our own future and we wanted everything to be organised and ordered. On the contrary, I used to believe, at least in those days, that the life of the Irish people (especially younger generations) has no balance at all. Not in the sense that the younger generation is worse, but meaning that younger people in Ireland were really immature. This was what I used to believe back in the days, anyway. Well, this lifestyle was making me feel I have lost any balance and also made me live in endless chaos.
A few days later, after renovating my house, I threw a large party. I invited a few friends, as well as members of Orchidea's Tales. There's a video from that party, in which Jesikka and I were dancing Michael Jackson's Don't Stop Til You Get Enough in the living room. At some point, Jesikka, my friend, Eva and I were sitting together in the kitchen. Eva was in Orchidea's Tales too and was also a tattoo artist, so she was teaching me how to make tattoos on other people. I actually remember myself making a tattoo on Jesikka's arm and talking to the girls about how hard my life had been in Ireland. I need to say that this was something I was very often doing. I would open up about personal issues, only whenever getting involved with something else. Only then, I could talk about my feelings. Otherwise, it would be really difficult for me to talk to someone when sitting on a chair, because I used to feel too uncomfortable. I suppose this was my own defence mechanism, that is I used to keep my head busy with other stuff, so whenever talking about my feelings, I was somehow going through the motions so that I wouldn't feel awkward. While talking to the girls, the kitchen door opened, during when I had a needle on Jesikka's arm, and a drunk Sofia walked in, topless, with two clothes pegs hanging from her tits, screaming: "I'm a little teddy bear!". I think it's needless to say that I can't remember whether I eventually completed Jesikka's tattoo or whether I was in a similar state.
Two hours later, everybody was in the kitchen and we were drinking some weird cocktails while singing out loud I Do Like to be Beside the Seaside. And of course, after that, my memory is failing me, even though I was later informed about the fact that I was vomiting in my bathtub and that I eventually passed out, holding my bathtub tight and that the other guys were carrying me. Well, that night was the best blowout for me, which I enjoyed and I also believe I deserved it, after these ten long years of suffering.
At the end of July, Johanna, Vivian, Scott and I went to London to record Mother Nature. I had always liked the UK because I used to travel there since I was young, as I would visit Vivian in Dorset as well as Bryan in Yorkshire. While recording the Uaithnia album, Johanna and I got the chance to tell each other more things, concerning our personal problems. She explained to me that her band was on the ice, although she hadn't departed yet. She had a friend from Alta, whose name was Caroline and both girls were born on the same day, on the 25th of November, 1987 and she was also a musician. Johanna told me that it was a dream of hers that one day she would tour with Caroline or that they would even make a record together. I replied that, as long as they're friends, there's great chemistry between them, exactly like Johanna and me, as we're sisters.
There was a wonderful atmosphere between us during the recording sessions. As the album was related to nature, we combined it with several activities we were doing. I never understood whether we were a band or a happy fellowship of hikers. Very often, we would camp in places full of plantation or even forests, as for example in Lake District in Northern UK. We also travelled to similar places like this, even reaching Scarborough, so many of the photos that we shot, were used for the album. I hadn't been used to something similar, as I was mostly camping in Norway or Lapland and English landscapes were more of a lighter green colour, but less wild and swampy. But fortunately, there weren't any of these disgusting mosquitoes, which were causing trouble to our skins every summer in Kirkenes. Anyway, what was most important wasn't only the place, but the people, whom you were spending time with.
Thus, recording sessions lasted until September. Then, we went to Real World Studios to mix and master the album, and at last Mother Nature was released on the 11th of October, 2019. After that, we decided to play the album live, though not exactly by going on tour. Our gigs were taking place in forests and fields. Exactly! In forests and fields. That means, that the whole set was acoustically performed, so we couldn't have a big audience. But we didn't care. Uaithnia was a band, which existed solely for our own enjoyment. We had our other bands, through which we had built our own careers. And this kind of live concert was rather special and that's why it was widely appreciated.
At Christmas, 2019, we returned home to see our families and spend our vacations with them.
