Anna started school in Kirkenes, as her new house was now in Jakobsnes. And at the beginning of October, Alexandria was met with a new start, concerning the topic and the themes of the songs. In October 2022, I took Anna with me and we spent a weekend in Yorkshire, where the other members of the band were too. When they saw Anna, suddenly their mood became happier, as the youngster's presence would always cheer us up. We were in Yorkshire due to band business. And this business concerned the audition and, ultimately, hiring of this girl, who would be playing Irish pipes in the band. She was a girl, two years older than me, her name was Nancy and she had long dark hair. Our style and appearance were very common, though she had a more gothic appearance (even though she didn't look like a metalhead at all, nor had she anything to do with those people), while I had a more vintage style, of a Victorian era, mainly due to the acts I was playing on the theatre.
Nancy and I instantly hit it off. And that's a real paradox because we had completely opposite characters. I was a very reserved person and not that sociable, whereas Nancy was constantly joking around, she was trying to have small talk with everybody and in general everybody wanted to be her best friend. I can't say I was an easy-to-talk-to person at all, exactly because the older I was getting, the less typical affairs did I like to have with people around me. Either there's an honest friendship between us or we're no friends at all. And this is the second paradox as far as my friendship with Nancy is concerned. It took me ages to finally trust someone and be friends with them, especially during later years after the lawsuit. If we did in the end, I would keep people at a great distance, in the sense that I would put a limit concerning the time I would spend with them, what I would offer to them as a part of myself etc. I'm aware of the fact that this was rather selfish on my part and I don't feel proud at all about it. It's only that I've been a lone wolf and I can achieve being mentally healthy, only if I don't have any neighbours if I live in the middle of nowhere with my family and my animals if I spend as much time as I need with myself and the most important if I don't have to let anyone know about what I'm doing. Anyway, things weren't like that with Nancy. I could spend an eternity with her, fooling around, as if we were some eighteen-year-old teenagers and we could be spending time together, seeing each other's face for a whole week and it didn't matter at all. Of course, I have to say that I have always had a preference for people who come from Northern England, Scotland and Ireland, because of their humour. Furthermore, after my two past shitty years, my heart was longing for some laughter and light.
Nancy joined the band, playing the pipes, flutes, tin & low whistle. Furthermore, she accepted to bring in some additional keys. I explained to her that I had had an operation on my wrist, due to a thumb fracture, and that I couldn't play our old songs with those fast keyboard riffs that easily anymore. She replied to me in a completely normal tone: "No problem, dear". Thus, with me on lead female vocals and Bryan on lead male vocals, we got into work, in order to compose our eighth studio album. I have already mentioned above that, after the incidents of the years 2021-2022, the band changed completely, concerning the topic of the songs. After Black Notebook, I promised myself that I would never be in such a terrible mental state. Yes, all these depressing songs and books I was writing would very often help me get over my pain because I would let all this get out, at least in a paper. However, when you produce an Art, especially when you write a psychobiography, your aim is that your audience will become touched, when reading your work, so you make it as emotional as you can, often exaggerating a little bit about your feelings. I had realised that this kind of exaggeration was what would kill me. For example, in my Art, I would represent the fact that I had bad self-esteem in such a harsh way, that I would literally throw myself in the rubbish. Even in my latest book, I was a heroine who ended up killing herself. And of course, every time I would write a dramatic scene in a book, I was feeling so bad about myself, that I would break into tears. Well, I didn't want to be like that anymore. I wanted to write someone else's story and not mine. I was completely bored to keep on writing my diary, something I had been doing since Kansi was released. After all, it's completely selfish to write only about yourself, because in the end your audience will get too bored and will not be able to relate to your work at all.
Coincidentally, during this time, I had started watching a documentary about the music of Asia Minor and the rest of Turkey, Armenia, Afghanistan and in general music of the people living in this geographical area. At some point, the narrator of the documentary made the following comment: "All those people inhabit the same neighbourhood". Since that time, I would watch the documentary with great pleasure, as I really liked that statement. I knew that those people were in each other's throats, mainly due to religious differences, however, music was something that bonded them with each other. My father, as an ethnology graduate, had taught me that nobody is our enemy and we are all siblings, whereas my mother, as a biology graduate, had taught me that all people (as well as all species) come from a single common ancestor, so we are all cousins. I would really like to compose an album, which would have influences from the music of Asia Minor. Some years ago, we had made fieldwork in Mediterranean countries with the band, but we'd never been to Asia Minor or the Caucasus.
I can recall that I had invited Vivian, Bryan and Nancy to my new house. We were discussing the common features of those peoples and my motto was the narrator's phrase: All those people inhabit the same neighbourhood. Then, I suddenly remembered a professor of mine at the University. So, I said:
"Guys, some years ago, a professor of mine, who is an ethnologist, had told me that, if we ever wanted to compose an album consisting of music inspired by Asia Minor, she could help us".
"Have you still got a contact with her?", Nancy asked.
"No", I replied. "However, back then she gave me her phone number and her e-mail".
"What's her name?", Vivian asked.
"Amanda Collins", I answered.
"I do remember her", she said. "You can communicate with her. She was very fond of you back in the days".
I folded my arms and pouted my lips.
"I'm feeling shy!", I exclaimed.
Vivian burst into laughter. "Jesus Christ, Ingrid!".
"Really", I said. "I'm feeling shy. Could anyone of you do this?".
"No", she said firmly. "Your own professor and your own idea. So, you are the one who has to get her".
I sighed, however, I decided to send her an e-mail, in which I wrote who I was and that I needed some recording material. Although she herself had offered to help me a few years ago, for some reason I was feeling sure she wouldn't answer. Furthermore, this fear of mine became more intense, as days went by and I hadn't received any answer at all. Two weeks later, Anna and I went on a small trip to Disneyland, in Paris. There, I saw I had received an e-mail from Collins, in which she was writing that she was so glad to hear news from me and that I had always been her favourite student. And the most important! She suggested we make fieldwork together in the Caucasus during early 2023. As long as this was arranged, until January I could deal with anything, which had nothing to do with the band.
Even though I wasn't dealing with music at all, then again there were many things I could do. Coincidentally, during these days I received a video on my e-mail by a blonde girl with braids. In the beginning, I thought she was some foolish fan, however, this is what she said in the video:
"Heeey! My name is Kristina Jenssen and I come from Bodø. I read your book, Black Notebook [she frowned], the one with the Poet, as you were saying, and I found it to be a masterpiece. I'm an actress and I stage plays, which are highly related to your book, as far as the plot is concerned. Well, the reason why I sent you this video was, because I wanted to suggest we stage your book at the theatre and because you are an excellent actress, you should have the Poet's role. I hope you agree and I'd be rather glad if I receive a positive reply. Greetings, Kristina".
I switched off the video and burst into laughter. It was obviously a gag. How stupid did some people think I was? But even if it wasn't a hoax, this story belonged to the past for me. There were no black notebooks anymore, nor Poets, nor broken hearts and, of course, there were no suicides. Then what? Would I ever stage a play on the theatre, in which I would stab myself? To start with, people wouldn't stand watching something like this. So, I didn't even bother to answer to this pigtails actress -- if she was indeed an actress.
However, some noon I invited Jesikka and Sofia to my place for lunch. The girls love spaghetti and they have great pleasure in trying my own specialities. Then, while cooking, I said: "You can also stay for dinner if you like".
"This is impossible", Sofia said. "We have to go to a show in Alta".
"What kind of show?", I asked out of curiosity.
"A play".
"Oh! And who is the director?".
"I have no idea", Sofia said. "However, the protagonist's name is Kristina Jenssen. Do you know her?"
"No, but....".
"She's not a famous actress, but she's excellent and....".
"Is she a blonde with pigtails?", I asked.
Sofia laughed. "I don't know if she has pigtails, but, yes, she's blonde".
I told her about the e-mail and the video.
"Don't tell me that you thought it was a hoax", she said.
"Excuse me, but when something like this suddenly pops in your e-mails, where does your mind get to?".
"Don't be silly. Your book was a huge success. If you stage it at the theatre too, it'll be even a bigger success".
I looked at her right in the eyes and said seriously: "Yes, I am going to stage a play, in which I kill myself before the audience and then I'm carried away by those people who find me with a knife in my throat. Well, I believe that, if people watch something like this, they'll find themselves in a mental health clinic and I'll find myself in a prison cell".
"You're stupid", she said. "You could only show the knife and not completely show the suicide. I can get involved in this if you like. The minute you are about to draw the knife, the curtain falls. How do you like this?".
"Good idea", I said. "But....I....do I have to live this again?".
"That's another issue. On the other hand, it could help you get this over forever".
I sighed. "I'll get into contact with Kristina".
"You could send her an e-mail".
"No, Sofia, wait", I exclaimed. "Are there any tickets left for the show?".
"Yes, there are a few".
"Marvellous, I'll join you".
Thus, I would have the opportunity to find out myself whether she indeed was a good actress.
In the evening, I also went to the theatre, after I paid a visit to my sister. When I watched the show, my jaw was left wide open. Kristina was truly a talented actress, even though she had a more everyday acting and not a lyrical one. I was usually hiring actors who had something more dramatic, a Shakespeare-resembling style, a style probably coming from another era. However, my book featured a character, who suited Kristina: Daisy. After the show, I went to Kristina's dressing room, where I found a guard.
"Excuse me", I started. "I'd like to talk to Kristina".
"I'm terribly sorry, my lady. Mrs Jenssen can't accept any visit from fans".
"But she had contacted me a few days ago and she knows who I am".
"Your name?".
"Ingrid Sorensen", I said.
"Come in, Ingrid!", a voice was heard from the dressing room.
I walked in and saw Kristina. "Good evening", I said shyly.
"Welcome, my dear Poet!", she exclaimed.
I thought: Pleaaase. Don't you ever call me Poet again! Then she hugged me and I was really astonished, as I wasn't used to being hugged, let alone by strangers. After congratulating each other about our own successes, we moved to the core. We talked about turning my book into a play, something which needed a lot of time. This was clearly something I, myself, would deal with, as I was the one who had always been doing anything related to compositions. Thus, until my departure to the Caucasus, I had the hell of a work to do, as the play would eventually be staged in 2023.
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