49. HOSPITALS

In June 2026, we stopped touring, because we wanted to spend the summer holidays with our families. Fortunately, we didn't book any summer gigs, because either we would have to cancel the show or the rest of the guys would have to make it without me. That's because, in June, my family was facing very serious problems. My grandma, Kristi, my mother's mother, was 93 years old and had had a severe stroke for many years. She could barely walk, and if she did, she had to use a walking stick, but during these later months, she was bedridden. Then, she suddenly had to check in a hospital and for almost a month and a half, all of us were in a rush. My siblings and I, but especially my mum, as well as Kati, used to spend the night in a hospital chair quite often. We didn't want to hire a private nurse either because it would be better for her if her family was close. Grandma didn't ever lose her mind, nor did she have dementia. She only had a stroke, walking problems and, of course, she was too old.

Unfortunately, in August 2026, grandma passed away. Alright, I can tell that she lived a full life -- 93 is a good age. But, far from that, this was a stunning blow for all of us. Once again, I felt this bitterness that I did eleven years ago when grandpa Lauri left us. But now I was at an older age, I wasn't that small innocent kid anymore, thus I could manage to lose a family member much better. Of course, I was so lucky to have my grandma around for so many years. Some people lose their grandparents much earlier -- some people even lose their own parents! We were so lucky because both our parents were in perfect health.

I wish I had my fingers crossed!

My grandma's passing cost a lot to me, that's why I felt I needed a break from working. I didn't want to go to the studio, neither write any book nor do another show. I wanted to stay at home for a while, doing nothing but mourn my grandmother. Luckily I was at home during that time, because our problems weren't over yet. In fact, they had just begun. One evening, I got a phone call from my mum, who asked me to come to Bjørnevatn. My dad slipped and fell off a stair and we had to drive him to the hospital. It wasn't a severe injury, but he was 72 and had diabetes, thus a simple wound could have been rather painful for him. Fortunately, doctors said he didn't have to spend the night at the hospital, so we could drive back home. But, anyway, my parents spent the night at our place, because I wanted to be close to them, in case my father was in need of something.

My parents didn't go home instantly. They stayed with us a little bit more, because very often I would have guests and I thought that socialising was a major advantage to my father's health. I can recall that every night he would tell his own stories to my friends, who were visiting me. I don't know where this came from and why, but at some point, I got really angry with myself, because of my dark thoughts. I remember being at the kitchen, making a salad for all of us and my father was in the backyard, telling his stories. Then, at some point, a single thought came to my mind: For how long still am I going to listen to him telling stories? I instantly smacked myself in the face and thought: Stupid! Why not listen to him long? He's only 72 and in perfect health!

A few days later we did some shows in Scandinavia only. My father, even though his health was much better, still needed to be taken care of. Because of his diabetes, his wounds couldn't heal that easily. And after his fall of that stair, it wasn't that easy for him to move around.

Since October, I was constantly in a rush. Mum had to go to the hospital too because her heart had to be operated on, thus I wanted to be close to her. In the meantime, I was taking care of dad, because his fall resulted in his having permanent difficulties with walking. I was extremely worried about my mum because heart surgeries are extremely dangerous in such old ages. But, fortunately, this surgery had a happy end, even though we had to be looking after her constantly. I remember spending many hours daily at their place during that time.

At the same time, my father's problems were still going on, but I can't say that we were really paying any attention to them. Mum was our main priority because we felt she needed more care after her surgery. However, in November, my dad called late at night and said he wasn't feeling well at all and he suddenly had a blackout. Anna and I instantly rushed to go to their place. We found him sitting on a chair and holding his head. "Hey, dad, what's wrong?", I said."

" I just felt that everything was suddenly getting black", he said to me.

Finally, I realised that he hadn't had his insulin injection, so I had to do it. Quite often, you can't make head or tail of elderly people, so if you don't act in time, the consequences might be a little bit dangerous to their health.

But problems hadn't finished yet. A few days later, during mid-November, dad was instantly taken to the hospital. We were informed that there was a problem with his kidneys, so it was necessary for him to be hospitalised. He stayed at the hospital for fifteen days and after he was allowed to go home, a doctor would regularly visit my parents, in order to check my father.

However, a week later my dad had to be hospitalised again. And this time we didn't know how long he would have to stay. Doctors informed us about his health. We were told he had bone cancer. When I heard the news, I felt I was dizzy. I couldn't stand hearing about cancer anymore. I had lost my grandfather and my best friend, because of that fucking disease. It wouldn't take my dad as well.

We didn't even know what to do. We didn't know if we had to tell him if he had to know about his health. Mental health is a major factor in curing cancer. If dad learnt about his state, he could let himself be taken by this thing. It would be fatal to him and painful to the rest of us.

At that time, Vivian called me and when she listened to my voice, she said:

"Ingrid, is everything alright? Why do you sound like that?"

"I'm fine", I replied. "I'm just a little bit tired because my parents need to be taken care of this time".

Vivian remained silent for a while. Then, she stuttered: "Are...your parents...ok?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course," I lied. "It's only that my dad fell off a stair a few months ago and he needs physiotherapy treatment. And my mum had a heart operation. You know also that after grandma's death, she needs mental support".

What could I tell her? That my dad had bone cancer and these were the last months I could spend with him?

"I'm so happy about that", she replied. "But anyway, in case you need anything, don't hesitate to give us a call. Alright?"

"Alright?", I answered.

"We all care about you. Keep that in mind", she said before picking down.

I really wanted to burst into tears. Why all these blows? First grandma, then my father. That night, I called my brother. "I've got some bad news", I said.

"Who died?", he said abruptly.

"Calm down", I said. "No one died. It's just that....dad's health is in a bad state".

"What's wrong with him?"

I sighed. "He was diagnosed with bone cancer".

No one spoke for a while. "I'm coming", he replied.

"I don't think you really need to. I believe we can face that. It's an early stage".

When Daniel picked down the phone, I started sobbing uncontrollably. Even though I had a strong faith in the fact that cancer wouldn't take him, I couldn't stand any single thought about losing him. I couldn't take losing more people in my life. I'd already lost many beloved ones. And please, no, no, no, not my father. I loved him more than anything in the world. I loved both of them. I couldn't let anything bad happen neither to my father nor to any other member of my family.

In the next few days, I decided I couldn't leave the band on a hiatus anymore. I sent a text message to Bryan, telling him this:

Hey!

I can't let you wait for me any longer. I don't know how long it will take me until I come back to the band. If you want to go to the studio, don't wait for me. Start composing music and enough with that bullshit that no one but me writes the lyrics. It's time you forgot all these shitty old traditions. If I die, what is going to happen to the band? Split up?

Don't call me, I won't pick up. We have to face very serious health problems. My family needs me now more than ever. I promise to come back, when and if things get better. Take care of your parents, as much as you can. Both of them are valuable and they won't be around forever.

Kisses, Ingrid.

We spent Christmas and New Year's Eve at the hospital. This happened for the first time ever. But at least, we were all together as a family and of course, there were Daniel, Johanna and paradoxically, Monica, who was in much deeper sorrow than the rest of us. Dad was typically telling us stories all the time about everything he had seen with his own eyes. And we were sitting around him, eager to listen to him, just like when we were small children. I have always been under the impression that dad wasn't only an actor, who had first studied ethnology. He has always remained a very obscure figure for us, children, even though he was telling us any fictional story a human mind can ever imagine. And there always has remained this thought in my mind, that far from acting, my father had done wonderful and impressive things, at least before I was born. Having such a motivation and appetite to live, how could this man just go?

Ten days after New Year's Eve, dad's health was rapidly worsening. He had started doing chemotherapies, but they didn't seem to work on him at all. His health was getting even worse. Doctors always try to encourage families, telling them to keep on hoping, but now this was in vain. Doctors themselves couldn't keep on feeding us false hopes. We knew that we didn't have much time with dad anymore.

I wouldn't keep on with the tour and I didn't care what the others would do. I hoped they could, at least, do it without me. I wouldn't leave my family for any reason, just for the sake of a tour. And furthermore, I didn't have the heart to get out on stage, headbanging, while my dad was a cancer patient, spending his last weeks (or days?) in a fucking hospital. And of course, I didn't dare to talk about my dad to the rest of the guys, because I didn't need any pity.

I don't want my readers to feel tired nor depressed with what I am writing. And of course,  I wouldn't like to go into more details about the whole thing, because my father was and has always been valuable for me. It hurts that I'm forced to remember all these details. On January, 30th, 2027, my father became another hero. And as Bryan used to say, when he also lost his own father, heroes and legends don't really die, but they always live within our hearts.

And my dad was, is and will always be a great hero, who never gave up on anything. Until the end of his life, he remained this storyteller with a child's mind, which makes up fantastical worlds. This is how he remained until these 72 years of his life. This father, who, when I was 15, forced me to set my own imagination free and write my first horror story. This father, who was forcing mum to leave the door open wide, so that people would come in and visit the Sorensen family. This man, who never sent anyone away. Everybody was welcome and everybody had the chance to listen to his own stories. Everybody would always see me and tell me You are exactly just like Mr Thomas.

I remember a single time, in 2022 when Sofia and Jesikka were at my own kitchen. I could overhear the girls behind the door, who were talking about my parents. Jesikka was discussing actors with Sofia and then she asked her who she would mention as her favourite actors. Then, Sofia replied: "It might sound a cliché or too corny, but I'd say, Niki and Thomas Sorensen". Jesikka started laughing and she said: "No, I find it really sweet. But why them?"

"Because both of them are great idols! Those two people are brilliant actors, people and parents. Just think about the fact that Ingrid has never taken acting lessons and she's a marvellous actress. Who do you think she's inherited her talent from?"

My eyes started to get wet.

Sofia went on: "Those people are so good-hearted and open to all the people. And they have such a great talent that their own theatrical style is notable. And yes, they are my favourite actors. And without them, I would have never become an actress myself. If I hadn't watched Niki and Thomas act, I wouldn't have ever become an actress".

I started sobbing silently so that they wouldn't notice I could hear them. Yes, Sofia was absolutely right. They are my own favourite actors too. I could never voice that out loud because I didn't want to be mocked. But my greatest acting (and not only) idols have never been Meryl Streep or Clint Eastwood. They were my parents, though: Niki and Thomas Sorensen. And that's why I wouldn't either have become an actress, weren't those two people my own parents.

And I owe the fact that I'm an author to this hero with this blonde ponytail, who in my heart will always remain a crazy storyteller. I hope that he still keeps on narrating stories, where he is.