Author's note: The present chapter is written to a great point just for the narration's needs. It doesn't refer that much to feelings nor is it psychobiography at all. The reason why I wrote it isn't because I actually was in need of that, but more because I had to fill up the heroine's personality. That's why I got too tired after writing it and I cannot say that I was very excited during its writing process, as it is full of musicological and ethnological information, which is completely irrelevant to my psyche, thus Ingrid's psyche.
Only in the final paragraphs it starts to become again a psychobiography, just like in the start.
During Easter 2016, the Celtic festival took place in Gweedore for the fifth time. However, this time things were different. Now I was a resident of the village, thus I didn't have to book flight tickets nor should I be in a hurry and a rush for anything. Moreover, this time the festival wasn't organised by the Association. The head was me and we decided to organise it as part of Orchidea's Tales, so that we could also include storytelling. Also, this was the first year that I did the storytelling myself, as the other girl moved permanently to the States. And of course, it was expected that I would also sing. The truth was that I wasn't feeling any shy to sing there.
Soon after the festival, we decided that we would start composing our fourth album. But I had quite a few ideas about what I should do. The album's theme was indeed clear, that is Romantic-inspired lyrics and a tragic consequence, caused by the hero's innocence and ignorance, just like in Shakespeare's plays and Sonnets, the operas and ancient Greek drama. However, the musical style wasn't specified yet. And it seemed that we were moving even further from progressive rock. But I can't lie about it. I'm probably to blame for the fact that, because of the band, I lost my innocence in a very young age, however every day was worser for me and I was feeling terrible distress. I felt the need to leave, because I couldn't stand seeing constantly the same faces. I needed to get into a faraway place for some time. And this is what I did!
Soon after Easter time, I decided to do the ethnomusicologist's job. The music I would write was clearly going to be inspired from journeys to other cultures. I wanted to embark on a ship and sail away, just like my grandpa, until I reached a shore. So, I thought I should leave along with the band and do a field work. But the issue was that we didn't know where we would go. When I asked the others' opinion, Lydia replied to me: "The idea was yours. You choose". Ok, this is not how things are going. As long as we are a band, all of us have to take decisions together and not just throw the book to a single person, because then we are prone to misunderstandings about lack of democracy. Anyway, I let this one slide. But as for the others, even though they were really into setting off for this journey, they weren't willing to help me organise it at all. And as I'm not this kind of person who will get in an argument, I surrendered, as I always used to do, and put down my ass in order to organise the field work all by myself.
There were a few places, in which I'd like to travel, because I was interested about them since a very young age. And these were the places, where the Sea Peoples used to come from in antiquity. When I was young, my dad, as an ethnology graduate, always used to play Middle Eastern music, but also music from the countries of the Mediterranean Sea: Egypt, Israel and Lebanon, but later I also liked listening alone to Armenian music played with zither. These styles had some things in common with Greek music too, so as a musician I was able to notice those similarities. That's why I decided we would go there, in order to do an ethno-musicological field work. I have to admit that the bureaucracy made it really difficult for me to organise the journey (let alone the fact that the others weren't helping at all), because these weren't countries one would visit every day, not even as a tourist. Thus I had to find places to stay, which were clean and safe. Luckily Johanna helped me with that, otherwise it would be impossible for me to organise it all alone.
So we set off on our first jouney on the 20th of April, which took place in Alexandria, whose name our band also bears. However, this was a long journey, as the plane landed in Creta and after arriving in Creta we embarked on a travelling ship, which destination was Alexandria. Since always I was passionate about Egypt, because of its history, and especially about Alexandria, which in antiquity was the centre of sciences and education. Mentioning that, I don't support any political ideology and have nothing to do with any nationalist conscience, nor any kind of fascism. I'm talking about a culture which is completely alien to me. Anyway, this is the reason why I also chose this name for our band. But what interested me to see in Egypt was not only Alexandria, but something I had never dreamt I would happen to see. I discovered the Gypsy musicians of the Nile (They were indeed wandering musicians. I don't mean anything racist), whose albums my dad had always played at home. I was grown up with their music and I suddenly bumped upon them.
They were three male musicians. The two of them came from Metqal family (that is from Metqil), a family that dates seven generations back in time. He plays a string instrument, called rababah, chosen by the sha'ir (epic Poets) and mughanni sh'abbiyah (folk singers). His family comes from Sudan and immigrated in southern Egypt seven centuries ago and the Metqil or Mataqil have in general cooperated with many gypsy musician families. The first of three singers, Metqal Qenawi decided to follow a different direction from this of the epic Poets, his ancestors, and he became a folk singer. His trills sound so beautiful with the rababah, that during the 1960s he was named by journalists "Hendrix of the East". He was popular first in Cairo and then around the whole Arabic world under the name rais (leader of the band). His songs Ya Farawle, El Balars and Dayant ya Mali are mostly used and popular also to the traditional baladi dance.
The second Metqal (Shamandi Tewfiq Metqal) has a special way to incorporate the traditional song into ethical, epic and Poetic form. He sings about Zeid al Hilali's exploitation, the nomad hero from the Hlal races of Hedjaz, who invaded in the North African and Tunisian territory during the mid 10th century. He also has a dark face and he resembles much Abu Zeid. It is said that this hero was as black as the raven, which was flying in the sky and was considered to be a bad omen, when he was born. Abu Zeid is one of the many Bedwin heroes, who narate stories about getting fooled at, about seduction, love and war -topics which are highly sung for centuries. Due to the traditional limits set in music, Gypsies are the ones who have transferred the historical legends. Their narrations are spread all over the Arabic world and the countryside of the Nile. Lost in his nomadic universe, the world which Shamandi Tewfiq describes, could be taken from One Thousand and One Nights.
One of the youngest members of the Musicians of the Nile is Yussef Bakash, a young singer, who sings also love songs, but is an arcrobat too. His ability to entertain the audience was seen in the Opera Garnier in 1993 in Paris during the World Gypsies programme. He represents the new generation of singers, for which seduction is primary. His approach is completely different that the one of the older generation and his poetic comparisons are not the same. The times have changed for the Arabic world as well. Yussef himself told me that the younger girl doesn't cause a comparison with the strawberries or the nectar made of pomegranate. What they nowadays use as a metaphor is the "soda's foam".
So, I went there along with my equipment, which consisted of a small old-fashioned and shabby dictaphone and batteries and I interviewed them. I even promised myself I would show this interview to my dad, who is the reason why I also wanted to become an ethnologist. Thus, we toured around Egypt and of course went to Alexandria's famous library, which was founded during Ptolemy's A reign and was destroyed by the Arabs. Unfortunately! Can you just imagine what would have been saved today, how many philosophy, literature and science books would we have today?
After Egypt, we sailed off to Israel. For most people, Israel is of a religious importance, as it consists of monuments that represent all kinds of popular religions. The Western Wall for Jews, Church of the Nativity for Christians and the Dome of the Rock for Christians as well as Jews. Traditionally, people of all religions inhabited in Israel, but since 1948 political unrest has been huge. However, we didn't want to study the religion. We were interested more about klezmer genre, a dance coming from Europe, but developed in the United States and is inspired by jazz music and other non-Jewish elements. Normally, klezmer music has its roots in shotetl (villages) and gettos of Eastern Europe, where wandering Jewish troubadours, known as klezmorin, used to play in events (simkhes), usually weddings, from the beginning of the medieval years until their persecution from the Nazis and the Stalinists. It bears its influences from cosmic melodies, folk dances, khazones (Khazanut is the Jewish liturgy) as well as nigunim, the simple melodies, usually without lyrics, intended to the Hasidim (Jewish orthodox people), so that they can approach God with a kind of an ecstatic connection.
There was a mutual communication with the Slavs, Greeks, Ottomans (Turks), Gypsies and later American jazz musicians and they were using typical scales, tempos and beat changes with a small diaphony and a stroke of improvisation. Thus, klezmorin gained the ability to stir every kind of emotions through its diversity. Since the 16th century, lyrics have been added to klezmer, due to badikhn (wedding ceremony), purimshpil (Esther's play during Purin's fete) and Yiddish theatre. Along with its artistic diversity and its characteristic sound, klezmer music is unique, is easily recognised and globally appreciated by 'nationalists', but also bigger audiences all around the world. Klezmer music is also a calling to dance and has received a true revival. Klezmer music as well as Yiddish songs nowadays include a vast repertoire, in which a whole gamut of human feelings can be expressed, from joy to sorrow, from devotion to revolution and from meditation to drunkenness and of course love as well as the Jewish humour.
And the third place, where we sailed off to, was Lebanon, whose cuisine I adore. Truly Lebanese cuisine is my all times favourite one. Since the early 20th century, Beirut, Lebanon's capital has been named Middle East's Paris. It's a harbour in the Mediterranean Sea, where rich Europeans and Americans travelled together. It was an open city for both Christians and Muslims, in order to live together peacefully. After the Second World War, Lebanon was on its musical and cultural bloom. Beirut became an artistic and cultural opponent for Cairo (Egypt's capital). During that period, several musicians emerged, influenced by traditional Arabic music and Beirut became one of the most important musical voices in the Middle East. The main Arabic classical traditional orchestra as well as the sound were widely used. Many artists of that era can be named: Fairuz, Sabah, Wadih el Safi, Nasri Shamseddine, Salwa Kaktih, Majida El Rarmi as well as Ahmad Kaabam are some of those musicians who emerged after the Second World War.
Fairuz is one of the most important, figurative and famous singers from Lebanon. She was born in 1934. She was a member of the choir in Lebanon Radio Station. Within a few years she became a famous personality in the Arabic world, including the Arabs living in Europe and the States. Probably only Umm Kulthum (Egyptian singer) is more popular than her in the Middle East. Nowadays, she goes on with her career, but also spreads it in other styles, different that that of the Middle East, just like incorporating Brazilian and other world sounds in her recordings.
Lebanon had the experience of a civil war that lasted seventeen years, so many musicians immigrated in Paris or Cairo and didn't return back to their hometown until 1992. After that era, the influence by French music is obvious to the music of Lebanon. During the latest years, Lebanon is under the regime of Islam fundamentalists, thus is far away from the era of its great peak, that's why traditional and ethnic music cannot be normally developed.
One of the traditional and local dances and music is called in Lebanon, Dabke. Dabke is popular in some Arabic countries, such as Lebanon, Saudi Arabia, Syria, Iraq and others. It is performed in a circle or a line in weddings or other occasions. There are different types of this kind of dance. According to the occasion and the place, different kinds are performed. Some dances are performed solely by men, others solely by women and others are mixed. Some traditional instruments used in Dabke are the oud (a kind of lute), the mijwiz (a woodwind), tabla as well as daf (both percussion).
We returned to Europe a month later, having all this material in our hands. It was the first time we did such a complete work and this is something we had to feel proud about. The four of us (Vivian, Bryan, Dina and I) decided that we should start composing our music according to the research we did. However, what I was more involved with was this song that I would dedicate to Josh. I was concerned about the fact that I hadn't thought about the lyrics at all. But then this is what I started to realise: as long as the idea was that I would write a song for my friend as if he were going to die at no time, I should tell him what I was feeling about him...in a way. However this was something that I could never do. Never. So, I found some better idea. I would write a song about the harbour oil. The harbour oil, I had always loved so much, that once upon a time I used to rush every night in the harbour and stay there until the morning, but now I knew that I would never ever live such a similar experience. I'd like, if I could, to experience harbour oil once again along with Josh and no, there's no sexual connotation to that. So, I decided I would write a letter (it might be considered to be a loveletter) to my friend, opening my heart to him, and at the same time to the whole world, describing my harbour oil in detail and in verse and inviting him to come along with me. And then after that I felt I would be in joy.
That's why I decided to give Josh a call and tell him I had started composing. However, I was met with a great surprise. Josh wouldn't answer my calls. And this wasn't something that happened once or twice, but for a whole week I had failed to catch him in any possible way. In the end, I phoned Vivian, petrified, telling her I couldn't find Josh anywhere.
"Have you tried to phone to his parents?", she asked.
"I can't do that", I replied sharply.
"Well, I would advise you to stop being shy or a coward", she said strictly to me. "He is your friend and he might have a health problem".
This was something I hadn't thought of at all! Without a second thought, I called his mum, who replied to me: "Lately, Josh doesn't want to talk to anybody. But I'm going to tell him that you have phoned".
I wasn't so worried about that, as I believed that deep inside Josh was just like me, in the sense that I would also go through some hard times, when I refused to have any kind of touch with the outside world. I was closed to myself and my own writings and even though a war could have broken out, I would keep myself shut in the crystal sphere of my childhood. One night, while I was in a deep sexual intercourse with Shakespeare's Sonnets, the phone rang:
"Hello, Ingrid", a familiar voice was heard.
"Josh! Where have you been? Do you know how many times I've tried to catch you...."
"I know, Ingrid. I've seen the calls".
"And why haven't you answered, you wild cannibal?", I asked laughing.
I heard a deep sigh.
"Josh, what's going on?", I asked in a serious tone.
"Have you written the song?"
"This is why I was calling you. I wanted to tell you that it's in the process of...."
"Please, Ingrid", he interrupted me. "Get it done as fast as possible"
"But what's wrong, anyway?", I said desperately.
"I do love you, but...."
"Oh, don't start with that again!", I said.
"You have to know this".
"Know what, Josh?". What the hell? Did he tell me he wanted me to write a song for him only in order that he can ask me back?
"Ingrid, I suffer from leukemia".
"What?????", I screamed.
"For a year and a half. That's why I asked you to write this song for me. Because I know I have no time left".
"No, no, no, no, no!", I said. "Don't speak such words. This is something we'll come over together. I can help you and....."
"It's terminal, Ingrid. Chemos are useless. Doctors told me I don't have but a few months left to live".
"That can't be happening, Josh", I said desperately. "It's ME the one who can help you".
"I'm sorry, Ingrid. I didn't want to die. But as far as you can see, it's not in my hands. If you really love me, I'd like to listen to the song before I die. Please forgive me and when I close my eyes, don't ever forget about me". Thus, he picked down the phone, because I suppose he didn't want to listen to my own reaction.
Then I instantly burst into a heartwrenching wail, that I myself even wondered about my own reaction. However, I felt I would die. That someone had grabbed my heart, had pulled it out and cut it into pieces and then threw it in the rubbish bin, bursting into a sardonic laughter. I felt just like the time, when my grandpa died. I had always believed that my own self was hanging from two people: grandpa Lauri and Josh. When grandpa Lauri died, I hung myself to Josh, as if I were a monkey. And now that I would also lose Josh, what was I going to do? I would fall in the abyss forever! I was feeling alone, helpless and completely useless and worthless. Useless, because it was my own fault and only my own fault. Because if I hadn't told him that we had to break up, now I wouldn't have been single, without a partner for so many years, nor would he suffer from leukemia. I felt that my heart was smashed and spread in the bowels of the earth and I was writhing in my home's floor, as if I were a fish thrown out of the water. How could I do something like this to him? How cruel could I ever be?
That was the end of my life.
Another death and at the same time, my own death too.
No comments:
Post a Comment