In March 2018, when we came back from our field work, we systematically started to write songs for our fifth album. I felt I was under the need, on the one hand to keep on with the same theme of my book, writing a similar album -that is to talk about how it feels to long for your old happy life- and on the other hand to write something about beautiful childhood memories. The album was expected to be of a dark nature, as it would be a sibling to my book, however it would show that I once had pleasant memories.
As a band, we had long discussions about the theme of the album and thus we started writing: I would take the lyrical part upon myself and the whole band would focus on the melodies. The music was mainly inspired by the Spanish and Sicilian folklore, as for a whole month we had acquired and recorded these sounds. As far as the lyrics were concerned, of course, as I have also said before, even though our albums more or less follow a particular theme, it was impossible that we write songs that are all on the same page. So, we had even written songs, which had nothing to do with childhood memories. For my own part, I had given a melody to some Poems: mainly Shakespeare plays and sonnets or other Romantic-type Poems. I went back to my ol' rabbit hole!
After much pressure, Lydia decided that she would also write her own melodies. When she presented them to me, they sounded really exciting to my ears and I told her: "These remind me of those songs I used to listen to, when I was a kid!". Maybe we could use them, as our album had to do with childhood memories. However, Lydia finally refused to let us use those melodies in the songs and she seemed to be really disappointed. And I didn't even pay any attention to her, as long as this was her own decision. Had Lars told her anything bad once again?
It took us about three months to write all the songs. I played at the Celtic festival, while at the same time we did a huge festival in Norway with Orchidea's Tales. The festival took place in a concert venue, where we were telling tales and stories. What is more, we were also playing music and we had arranged some activities for children too. At some point, late at night, I was sitting down with Jesikka and we were discussing about the band and all those new ideas I had in mind. You know that with Deep Sea Creatures the band's changing direction towards folk and world music was obvious and we said goodbye to the atmospheric progressive rock music. Now, what I had in mind was to continue what we did in that album, but also take it on a higher level, by using more instruments. I wanted us to record with real traditional instruments and not only with a few synthesizers and only having hired two or three musicians. I wished to find a real orchestra, which would consist not of symphonic instruments, but of traditional ones, just like Loreena McKennitt did. Only that in our own case, this style of music would be combined with progressive rock as well as campfire music. Anyway, I was searching high and low but I eventually found my orchestra.
A few miles further than our studio in Rockfield, there was Bristol and there we found Bristol Traditional Ensemble Orchestra. Whatsoever we would travel to Rockfield for the recordings, so Bristol was a comfortable choice for us to work there too. As it was expected, musicians themselves came from all over the world, so there was already a multicultural background. I had managed to compose music for all of these instruments and the reason was that, the fact that I had some orchestra conducting lessons at the music academy, back in the days, when I was a kid, played a major role in my composing skills. Only that I wasn't composing for a symphonic orchestra this time. But anyway I knew how to combine and coordinate one instument with another. Those musicians together sounded splendid and for years I had wished that I could get to create such a perfect musical atmosphere. The sound was huge and gave me a nostalgic aura. And there was a reason for that. I hope I won't be laughed at by readers, but the lyras, the oud and all these Eastern instruments blended with each other reminded me of Greek folk music. This was something that absolutely fitted to our album's theme, as it itself was related to childhood memories.
I don't need to excessively refer to how we were spending our time in the studio. Everything is already known and nothing had changed with the previous times. We would typically wake up early in the morning, as we would be recording for three hours in the morning and three hours in the afternoon. Vegetarian food, relaxing in the noon and in the evenings a good film and a lot of music (usually 70s, 80s and 90s pop and disco hits), which was combined with some good wine or otherwise we would go to some bar in Bristol, if we felt like driving at night.
The companionship I had with the guys was a way for me to cover the loneliness, the silence and the emptiness I was feeling inside. It was a very sweet and at the same time bitter illusion. However, I was having a good time with the guys, no matter what my overall mood was. We had even a few funny moments in the studio, in particular when Dina would often forget the lyrics and would stop the song, saying: "What comes next?". Or when Bryan would enter the room, playing the American Indian shaman. Or, when we would make a pause, every time I would play Boney M's Rasputin on the Hammond Organ and I had everybody rolling on the floor laughing, because this thing....this thing sounded like you had been playing a really bad-quality game on the PlayStation!
As before, we had booked the studio for two months. However, we would now record in two places at the same time: in Rockfield as well as in Bristol. And indeed, one would expect us to record first the band's parts and then the orchestra or the other way round, but not both simultaneously. But this way, not only did the whole procedure last less time, but we could also instantly correct all that was needed. While in Bristol, I also introduced my Finnish friend, Eira to the others.
Although there was a chemistry between us in the studio, there was something I was annoyed by. Lydia had brought Lars with. Alright, I wasn't bothered by that. Whatsoever, we were living in a house-studio, so the rest of us were also allowed to bring along our friends and our families. Even Vivian brought Tracy with. However, my problem with Lars was that he was mixing up in everything, as if he was himself a member of the band. In the beginning, I was trying to turn a blind eye to the whole situation, but at some point Dina approached me and said:
"Listen up, we have ended up being eight members in the band, without us being aware of it".
"So what do you want me to do, eh?", I said angrily.
"Are you asking me, Ingrid?", she replied. "Do you like the whole situation?"
"Err, no, but...."
"Then, do something!"
That wasn't fair at all! I was carrying every problem on my back, and if something turned wrong, then they put the blame on me and I was eating shit. Anyway, at some point in the studio, I said:
"Lars, can we talk for a sec?"
"What do you want to do with him?", Lydia said out of turn.
"Tell him a few things in person. Does that bother you too?". So, she shut her mouth up.
I turned to Lars and told him: "Look, I understand that you want to protect your wife and this is OK. However, you shall not mix up with the band's decisions, because you aren't even a member. I'm really sorry if this sounds harsh to you, but..."
Then he interrupted me. "Ingrid, you aren't but 22 years old. You have no experience in music industry".
"This is my own concern", I replied. "I've devoted my life to this band, since I have been a 15-year-old child. Let us move on the way we think".
After our short discussion, Lydia asked me: "What did you want to tell him?"
"Confess my love to him. Are you ok with that?". She asked for it!
Lars didn't ever again get involved in the band's business, however Lydia seemed as if she moved away from us during those days. Obviously, Lars told her I scolded him, that's why she was mad at me. So now at nights she and Lars were going out only by themselves and it seemed that they were cutting us out. So without Lydia, the rest of us created a stronger bond with one another. We spent our nights together, playing several crazy games. One of these were drinking one sip of vodka and tell facts about our life. One night it was my own turn. However, in my own case (everything was obviously set up), before I had started talking, I was asked some questions, which I had to answer. And all I was asked was What's wrong with you? Why are your books so depressing? Why don't you smile anymore? etc. This time I couldn't afford keep on having an empty look. Vivian was next to me, holding my hand: "Ingrid, this time you have to talk".
I sighed and said: "Alright. I'll tell you everything".
I told them how much I had missed this life I used to lead, before I came to Ireland, about the fact that I felt so alone, without a self, without a face, that I don't want to ever look at my face in the mirror, because I feel that I am so ugly. I told them I can't take love from anyone and that I don't want to do anything else than writing, because I am not able to do anything.
I even told them that I live a chaotic routine. That meant that I was living in an endless chaos, but this chaotic lifestyle has become a routine for me. I finally told them that Lament for a Dead Friend was dedicated to Josh, that its original name was Harbour Oil and I was hoping he would have time to listen to it. However, when he died, I changed its name, because I'd lost the most precious person in my life, after my grandfather, and I even hated myself and I would never ever forgive myself, because I let him die, without fulfilling his last wish.
"Let me understand this. You said that Lament for a Dead Friend was dedicated...to Josh?", Lulu asked.
"Exactly", I said.
"And did you have to complete that song and get through this turmoil, instead of throwing it away?"
"Shame!", I exclaimed. "We shall never throw away what we have started creating!"
"Ingrid, why haven't you ever told us?", Vivian said.
I shrugged my shoulders. "I won't be passing all my problems on you".
"Listen", Vivian said. "When you have such great problems, it's wiser not to keep these to yourself".
"This is why I write my books", I said.
"But you never open your mouth. You have to talk to your friends. Alright?".
"Fine. I'll try", I said smiling.
Well, bullshit. I would never open my mouth. NEVER! There was something that was constantly turning around my mind and I didn't dare reveal to anyone, apart from Dina, who already knew. I want to find my home. A place I can call my home.
Days were going by and we were driving back and forth from Rockfield to Bristol. Lydia still wasn't talking to me. Only at some point, she decided to call us and tell us some things. For a moment, I wished she would announce to us about her departure. But what she said was something else: "Well, I have got an idea. As we are becoming more popular and we make more money, I would suggest we create a common bank account, which we can draw money from, as members of the band. Whatsoever, even though we trust each other, of course, it would be better for everybody to make everything official".
"If this happens", I said "ONLY members of the band are going to have an access to this bank account".
"That's for sure. But, as long as we are a couple, Lars and I share our own money. I shall be drawing money and he can also use it. This is what happens on a family. And you, Ingrid, can share money with your parents, because you still live with them".
Wrong! I wasn't living with my parents. I was residing in my own place in Ireland!
Anyway, the rest of us agreed and we created this common bank account. The rest of the days went by smoothly and before we realised, the summer and the recording sessions were over. So we made ourselves ready to leave Rockfield. The night before we left, though, something shocking happened to me. I suddenly found myself alone with Lars in the room. Then he approached me and said: "Can I talk to you?"
"I'm all ears", I said uninterestingly.
"I want to apologise to you about my behaviour".
"You're forgiven", I replied.
"I....just....", he said and sighed. "I cannot get you out of my mind".
"Excuse me???", I shrieked.
"I want you, Ingrid", he said and headed towards my place. I put my hands forth, trying to defend myself.
"What are you talking about?", I whispered.
"Everytime I see you, I'm on fire. I want you madly. I know you want me too".
"Are you drunk?", I said.
"Drunk from love. I know you want it, let's do what we have to do and keep it a secret. We don't even need to tell Lydia. Let's make it only once and then forget it. Let's get experimented". Then I felt that he stuck me in the wall, placing his hand against it. He approached me, trying to kiss me. But I put my whole strength and pushing him away, I screamed: "Get awaaaaay! Asshole!" And then I left running.
During the following days, I was rather silent, but I also played dumb, so that nobody would suspect anything. After returning home in Ireland, I kept on with my studies. Even though I failed in my exams, during the previous semester, I decided that I would put more effort on this one. I even became more sociable, in a way. I became friends with a co-student of mine, Michalis, who was Greek and was then 32 -- ten years older than me. I had a rather good time with Michalis and he was very sociable, so I would forget my own problems, when being with him.
And later on our fifth album, Once Upon a Time in Autumn was released on the 14th of September, 2018 and a tour followed it.
No comments:
Post a Comment