07.UAITHNIA

My parents were away for almost nine months. They would come home, as soon as I would have started the First Grade of High School. And of course, our friend Johanna hadn't stayed at our place for 9 whole months. However, she was coming back and forth. Also, my own best friend, Ivanna was there, who moved to Karasjok and was spending time with my sister too. Around March, Johanna had to start working, as she would say, and she was locking herself in a room, trying to compose music. She was saying that she should release a new album soon. I think I forgot to talk about Johanna's music. In the beginning, she was rarely composing her own music and was usually a performer, but this wasn't necessarily negative. Of course, she had all the ideas and the ways, in which the albums would be done. However, when her band released their first album, Stille, she was only 16 years old and had no great experience in composing music. Her voice, though, is so special and unique -and I'm not biased at all, because she is my sister and I love her-, that I don't think that people really care whether she's writing her own songs or not. But in later years she had started to write her own songs exclusively by herself. And of course, the style of music she was playing was something between folk and alternative with many Celtic and Sami elements. Many people say that her music is, in many ways, similar with mine one. I find this to be quite logical, for the reason that we are sisters, thus we obviously view music -and life, itself, to a great extent- with the same eyes. And furthermore, of course, there were no few times where I've put my strokes in her songs or vice versa.

However, during that time, Johanna was extremely disappointed, as no idea could get in her head. She could write neither music, nor think of any idea for her next album. She was often accusing herself, saying she was useless and that her own songs should always be written by others. But I didn't like hearing her speaking so harshly about herself, because I knew she was incredible, concerning not only her voice, but also her composing abilities. So I told her "It's quite natural that you are stuck. First, you need a break from all this thing, so that your mind can be unblocked. And secondly, you're not at your own place, in order to be comfortable and write".

A few days later, I read a story by chance in Wattpad website and it was about the daughter of an Elvenking and her name was Uaithnia. The story resembled a lot of Lord of the Rings with Arwen, Elrond's daughter. On the other hand, the name Uaithnia sounded quite nicely to my ears and I wanted to write a story about a girl bearing the same name. And this is what I did. So, I started to write a tale, which I'll present right here:

Once upon a time lived a  15-year-old girl, whose name was Uaithnia* (*Even though I had a beautiful childhood and my family took care of me, Uaithnia's character resembled little Ingrid a lot. I was a rather scared child and I constantly seeked for protection close to Johanna) in an urban place. However Uaithnia was a very unfortunate girl, as her parents were not what  the kinds of people that anyone would expect them to be. She was neglected, absolutely on her own, had no friends, locking herself in her own room and anything she could receive from her family was rejection and bad criticism against her. Every night, little Uaithnia wished to escape from this nightmare and get away. In the end, some night she slipped secretly away from home and wandered alone. She didn't have the slightest idea where she would go. Being now homeless, she headed towards the big highway with the great underground bridges* (*Next to Tromsø Railway Station, in the highway, there were some underground bridges and some homeless people used to sleep there, and they had even created, in a way, their own small community and reality. Some of them had even created a small troupe, that was called "Theatre of the New World" or "Theatre Under the Bridge") She went down to one of those bridges and lived there. She lived there for long days and long nights, until some morning that an old man appeared to her with long white heard and a full beard* (Something just like Gandalf), who introduced himself as Old Alchemist. So, this Alchemist came from the medieval era and could predict the future. He told Uaithnia that all those problems had started since his own times and that she could go back in the past and change history. In the end, Uaithnia goes back to medieval times, without her vision though, she is taught all about alchemy and how to play the harp, and through her music she achieves to transmit her message to people.

I shall say that this story was the first relatively long story that I wrote and even published- you may see how I did this. However, due to lack of space and purpose of this story, I only wrote its review. After I completed it and corrected anything needed, I let Johanna read it* (*The heroine's name is spelled Unia according to the Irish spelling, just like the word "dreams" in Finnish. In my own mind, her name was related to this word, as she was transferred to a dream world). I thought it was a goofy heroic fantasy fairy tale, however Johanna didn't have the same opinion. By the time she read it, she was so excited and asked me to make a new photocopy of it and give it to her. She was reading it again and again and was constantly talking about it, and about how much she herself could relate to Uaithnia -- insecurity and fear is something common between Johanna and me, that's why I believe that we can undestand each other in many ways. One day, I turned to her and told her laughing: "Here! My story can be the topic for your next album. You can write the songs, in the way that Uaithnia would sing them".

Then her face was lit and she said: "No! I have a much better idea!".

I stared at her,full of questions, but she went on:

"Ingrid, you are a brilliant musician. Huh, aren't you?", she was saying caressing my hand.

"Tell me now, what do you want?", I replied seriously.

"Well", she also turned serious. "I can give you a chance -for your first time ever- to compose your own music. If you deny, you lose".

"W-what do you mean?"

"We could work together! And write together an album with the topic of the heroine of your story, Uaithnia. And we could even combine this with Monica's violin. A collaboration of the three sisters".

"But...I am but 15 years old and have no idea about music composition. How am I supposed to do this?", I complained.

"Ooooh, don't worry! I myself can help you with that. And we'll work it out. What do you think? Shall we begin?"

"Hmm, I suppose, I spluttered.

"Come oooon", she patted on my shoulder. "You will forever remember, that this was your first work".

The next thing I instantly did was to talk to Monica about Johanna's idea.As expected as it was, my twin sister didn't refuse and she was even overexcited.

"However, you have to know that I cannot write music at all, because I have never done this again", she said laughing.

I smiled back, saying: "Ooooh, come on now. Show me your self-confidence. I don't either have any experience in composing".

Monica frowned. "But you write stories".

I closed an eye to her and said in a sly way: "So you can write musical stories. Colour with your violin".

                              *****************

The girls and I didn't start writing songs instantly. Johanna suggested we started gathering ideas in our head and then each of us start writing.

"I thought that we would sit all together and start writing, and not by ourselves", I complained.

She smiled cunningly:

"Really? When you are writing stories, you set a restraining order against me. How come you now want to write music with me?"

"Ah, stories are different", I replied. "I haven't written music ever before. I'm afraid it will be a nonsense".

"Come on, Ingrid. If you are stuck, I can help".

So, the next days I tried not to be that worried. I sat on my synthesizer and thought that I have always loved Dervish, not the band itself as a band, but the way which they arrange their instruments with and how they can produce this big sound with those melodic harmonies. I had always wished to find more bands like them. Then, why not being me the one who is going to write this kind of music? And of course, I didn't have to tell Johanna all that I was thinking.

The problem was that I didn't know what to do, so that I could write music. But I quickly overcame those problems, when Johanna told me to do exactly what I told Monica: That is to write music exactly in the same way that I write my stories. Thus, you see that Johanna is the one who taught me this fortunate composing technique and this is what I have pursued to do in the rest of my life. After that, I started writing scenarios in my notebook and then I was dressing them with melodies. This is what I have always learnt to do and that's why I consider myself to be rather an author than a musician.

I used any sound that I could think of. I was composing on my synthesizer, but I knew exactly where I would play the accordion, the piano, the harp, and which sounds I would use on my keyboard. Those days, I wanted to be discreet, in contrast to later years, where we used to record those crazy psychedelic sounds. And of course, those days I didn't even own a Hammond Organ! Very often, jokingly, I was saying that using discreet sounds on the synth is the same thing as being discreet with your make-up. However, later I took psychedelia on its zenith with all these crazy sounds that I was mixing up.

In my mind I had my own orchestra, which of course consisted of four instruments only, if you include synth strings too. I was continuously composing pieces in the style of jigs, reels, slides, marches, airs and anything I knew about the Irish dances. Unfortunately, then I didn't know much about the traditions of the British Isles, so I was limited only to Ireland. Every now and then, my sister was asking me if the whole thing was getting right and whether I needed any help. I would say:

"It feels like you've placed a plug in a water pump and the whole water has been gathered on the edge of the pump. If you pull out the plug, what is going to happen?"

Johanna was laughing and she was saying: "Is it like seeing a tsunami? Are you showing something to me?", she asked.

"Not before I complete everything and I create a demo", I was replying seriously. I am indeed a perfectionist, as many of you have understood. Then, I may have done this because of my low self-confidence and my insecurities about how I might be judged, but the primary reason is different. I know about human hypocrisy and the fact that they say all you want to hear, instead of telling you the truth, only because they want to get along well with you. Alright, I can understand it, because this is what I also used to be -fortunately, not that much anymore- and I would never tell the others the truth about them straight to their face. I was a coward and duplicitous, however this is how the majority of the people around us behaves. So, I knew that if I had showed you something that I had (half)written, you would answer Ah, this is amazing! and deep inside you might think What is this bullshit that Ingrid has written again, but I shall lay it on thick, so I can be polite. Well, flatters, hypocrisy and general comments is all I hate. I complete what I make and show it once it's ready. And this goes to everyone, as I do not make favours --except for two sole persons, one of which is Monica. At least when we were young and I would protect her.

And this is related to my basic life philosophy, which is one of the elements of my personality, that has never changed at all. It is something, which I struggle to preserve all those years and if I ever lose it, I'm lost too and of course, this is my deepest message in my music and my books: the honesty of my intentions. And what I mean with this is the following: when I'm doing something, I'm trying to do it, because this how I feel that moment and not because I have second thoughts in the back of my mind or other personal benefits against others. I am no profiteer and I wish that my life confitions will be aways ideal so that I never become anything like this. In other words, I'll hang out with you, because I like your company and I'm into you and not because I want to become informed by you about another person, in order to start gossiping. And I would never say anything, to pick on someone or test the water, in order to see their reactions. For all those reasons, people --and my family, especially, that keeps on calling me little-- have always believed that I am a innocent and naive kid and they still believe it partially, even though I'm almost 40. I'm neither innocent nor naive, but I just choose to give others the impression that I have the behaviour of an innocent girl.

I said before that one of the two persons that I let be next to me, while writing, is Monica. Far from the fact that we were doing everything together (almost everything, because I needed my own privacy too), during our project's songwriting process, Monica approached me and told me: "Ingrid, I can't do this".

Then, I sprang up and said: "WHY?"

Having bowed her head out of shame, she told me she couldn't compose anything on her own and she couldn't get any idea out of her head. Then, in order to comfort her, I hugged her and made her sit next to me. "I want you to be here while I'm working. We can work together and you'll make it. I promise". Of course, I tried to force myself not to care about the fact that 'now there's someone next to you, while you are writing and you won't be in peace'. But, on the other hand, this ended up being really positive. Monica took her violin and gradually started to write musical stories and put notes inside them. I know that not all people in the world work in this way. (Indeed, good bands are famous about their albums, as being a result of an improvisation process or so-called jamming). But I was an author and I have even written film scenarios and plays. This means that the organised plot does exist in my mind on every aspect of my life...even when I had to create an exercise for the students at the institute for foreign languages.

In order to let you understand what I mean, there is high time I answered a question I've been often asked and I just go Hmmm, because the truth is that it is sort of wrongly set, even though I can get what you mean. And this question is: Ingrid, what do you exactly have in your mind, when writing music? To start with, I have never written music while jamming. Never! There are many bands who do this and they write masterpieces, but I (and as far as I know both Vivian and my siblings) can never write out of context. I might take a notebook and before starting to write notes and lyrics, I will write a story, not caring about its length. That's why very often we have songs, which are inspired from several stories (even a whole book!) that I myself have written. What do I exactly mean by that? I bring two examples forth. To start with, I have installed an app (or a game, if you like) in my phone, which is called Happy Colour and my friend from Sweden suggested it to me (she will appear later). It shows several pictures, that contain numbers in them, and you have to colour them, exactly as the rules show. I know it's quite similar to those painting booklets that we had when we were children, but even now that I'm growing old some mornings I wake up on my underwear, watching Donald Duck cartoons (still on my underwear!), eating corn flakes and drinking vodka in bed. Anyway. What I want to say, far from joking, is that this game has wonderful pictures, which often are food for thought for some story or some song, especially those ones who depict landscapes or faces with fully emotional expressions.

I have another example too. Let's take the funny picture on my computer desktop, which shows this donkey wearing blue heart-shaped sunglasses and a straw hat* (*It's indeed a real donkey and the picture was shot by my husband. 100 yards further from our house in Ireland lives a family, which we are good friends with and they own a donkey. They don't even have a car and they use the donkey as a means of transportation in order to go down in the village! Anyway, we once dressed the donkey like this for fun, and Ingmar enjoyed the show that much, that shot a picture). Can I turn this into a story? When I say a story, I mean what I say and I say what I mean: Once upon a time lived a donkey....Great! If I can, then what will the story's 'soundtrack' be? This 'soundtrack' will be the song that I'm going to write. I have to note that I haven't ever written any song, inspired by the donkey of this family, but it's just that my computer is open at the moment and this is the first thing I saw. Consequently, this context, this story can conclude anything: from a personal memory of my childhood in Kirkenes, a personal romantic moment of mine to how it is to view life through the 'eyes' of an amoeba* (*Amoebas have no eyes. Dear biologists, please do not strangle me. I used this word for the expression's sake) as my beloved ones Incredible String Band wrote.

This was the way, in which I worked in order to write the songs for the project with my sisters. And now I had Monica's company, so her violin's sound, did not only give me a lot of inspiration, but it also affected the way which I would musically move in, as it was the first time in my life that I was trying to write my own music. And of course Johanna started also writing music continuously. She obviously wanted to do something completely different than she usually did, which she didn't have the comfort to do in her own band, so our project helped her. We started writing in March and by June we had already written 10 pieces. During that time I also spoke to my friends, Vivian and Ivanna, about it and they were overexcited. Vivian was already playing in Celtic bands, while Ivanna had a career in Norway, just like my sister. Before we went to the studio to record, we showed our demos to each other: Johanna's 5 pieces and Monica's and mine's 5 own pieces. 10 in total. Recording sessions took place in Tromsø, in the studio where Johanna would usually go. I was playing harp, accordion, piano and sythesizer and Johanna was doing lead vocals, although she could also play the piano. Of course, each of us was singing their own compositions, except for Monica and it wasn't only the three of us who were playing on the album. My friend Ivanna helped by playing viola and viola da gamba* (*A kind of medieval viola), guitars were played by Juho Kultinen, a very nice guy from Tampere, Finland, whom my sister was working with and he was also playing the guitar in her band. As you can see, I was still the little sister and she had the upper hand in everything, while nowadays I mostly use people of my own music circle, when I work with Johanna, because they come from different countries and have a greater experience in different genres and not just Norwegian pop. The album contained no bass, as it wasn't even a rock album and for percussion we only used a bodhrán, played by a friend. A person that Johanna wanted desperately to help us with the recordings, as if she were married to him, was the main pianist of her band, who I'm sure that he didn't even let her play the piano: Dimitris Ahiladellis* (*People in Norway used to call him Achilles for obvious reasons, for his name wasn't easy at all to spell, if you are not Greek), Greek musician from Mytilini, very popular for his compositions to a sort of female singers, how can I say it, of Greek folk pop type, something that I call decay and subculture. I swear that I never felt jealous of him about his piano skills, but this has been the first and last time that I ever worked with Dimitris, without caring about Johanna's reaction about my decision. You can see, she couldn't live a single moment without him, she was so addicted to him -and I'll say once again that I've never felt jealous-, even though nothing romantic between them ever happened more than a musical cooperation.* (*As far as I know and I want to believe, because if I had ever learnt anything different, I wouldn't stab her, as I very often say jokingly. But the truth is that I would really feel bitter about my sister). He was taking adavantage of her in the worst way. He would never let her write her own music, play the piano, he was indicating to her the way in which she would sing, with whom she will work with, where she will perform and she was kissing his feet. And that was her own band, the band which she had founded herself, and in fact it was her the one who should do everything. Anyway because Dimitris was the typical Greek chav, I stated clearly to Johanna that by the time she works with me, we will work with people coming mainly from our family background or common friends, so that we both feel comfortable. Because, indeed, Dimitris was snobbing me too much, because I wasn't a prudent person and I hated constant compromises, in contrast to Johanna.

Our parents came back home, when we had already mixed the album and there were only a few things left to do. Those few things were the project's name and the cover of the album. When I asked my sister about the name, she answered: "Uaithnia, of course". Yes, of course. Our project was anyway inspired from that story. For the cover, Johanna sketched a tiny girl running carelessly and she symbolised our heroine. Uaithnia was released (because the LP beared the same title) in October 13, 2011, when I had started the First Grade of High School. My parents were overexcited that Monica and I were following our sister's tracks. And I myself was feeling so proud, that I had started a journey, which is never going to end for me.